The graduation festivities have begun!! Oliver has been busy wrapping up his final classes at Stanford, working on the biz, and attending what is literally an endless stream of social engagements and parties! (Seriously. Every night.) Baby, I am realizing, is 100% affected by whatever is affecting me. When I eat sweet things, he kicks up a STORM! When I am happy and relaxed, he continues his normal pattern of quiet/wiggling/kicking/repeat. When I am stressed or if I get upset…he goes quiet and doesn’t move very much at all. He also responds to music and loud noises! He frequently dances along with songs on the radio on my way home from work and will kick and punch when he hears other babies crying nearby. This week we got a chance to babysit for another little guy for a night, which was a really great and valuable experience. Let’s just say 1) it’s all about the food….if the baby can’t eat, NOTHING is right in the world and 2) having Mozzi and a baby is pretty much like having a toddler and a baby. He was good and of course didn’t come near the baby other than to sniff and lick his toes once or twice, but he was definitely experiencing some serious puppy jealousy. As if to say, wait! Why are you holding this thing? I AM YOUR THING TO HOLD!!! LOVE ME! PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!! He had a pretty rough time for the first hour. Meanwhile, I tried to entertain and give attention to both parties at the same time. The baby was much easier to please. The hilarious thing was that when the baby started fussing later that night because he was hungry, Mozzi was all delighted and suddenly perfectly chummy. Like, ha-ha mom! Told you I was better than this human baby thing! Look how good I am! Hahahahaha. Anyway, it’s good to have a tiny preview and prep of what life will be like come October. I’m sure (being confident here!) that eventually baby boy and Mozzi will be the best of friends 🙂
BOY OH BOY….I cannot fit any food in my body. Just drinking a glass of water makes me so uncomfortably full I feel like I can hardly move! Ugh! Trying to eat a normal meal (keeping in mind that my normal meals are on the pretty light side anyway) is literally impossible. There is no room! So I am keeping myself nourished and hydrated by taking tiny drinks and tiny bites of things throughout the day. O and I have been on a number of long walks around campus, which has felt great. I’ve been having a lot of what I assume is discomfort from my ligaments stretching around my belly for the past week! The skin feels fine, but it’s almost like the muscles are all flexed and being stretched out at the same time. Like a mix between a muscle cramp and a tight rope being pulled in two different directions. Yelp! Anyway, these tugs come and go throughout the day…not that I can complain! I mean, there are some serious body changes going on here! Honestly the whole process is amazing. Still have a hard time believing that my body can just do this on auto pilot with pretty much zero help from me at all.
We’ve scouted out a neighborhood a little south that we really like and are sitting on our hands for the next month until August apartments start becoming available. It’s in a nicer, quieter part of the valley with big trees, a creek and running trail, and a cute downtown with restaurants and shops and an entire grocery store/movie theatre/shopping complex all within a 15 minute walk. Cross your fingers we find the perfect place! I’m mostly picky about the price. Honestly, paying rent this high just feels like flushing money down the drain, so we’re trying to be very deliberate. Aunt Brooke surprised me with the CUTEST baby boy present!! A beautiful box with the most adorable, dashing little boy button down/shorty summer outfit (which is perfect for almost anytime here in CA!). I am having so much fun imagining baby boy in this super darling ensemble :)))
Life in the startup fast lane is at the same time super promising and going really, really well, and also very, very difficult at times (but did we expect anything else, really?). We are both adjusting to this new mode de vie and trying to roll with the punches instead of just feeling like the world is alternating between showering us with kisses and then actually punching us in the face every other day. Hah! Oh, the joys of the young, free, flexible life! Hopefully things will settle down by the end of the year (or at least, settle down substantially). Life is good. 🙂
The cutest brand new baby outfit we found for $4! Woo!
Dying over how adorable this outfit is!! Thanks Aunt Brooke!! We LOVE it!
These two weeks flew by! And, I am happy to say, I am finally showing!!! Under loose sweaters or flowy tops, I still get away with looking normalish, but anything else and it is VERY obvious that there is a tiny something growing inside 🙂 I, like my mother, at any time in my life am particularly sensitive to anything unnecessary on my waist – all those waistbands on top of each other have always driven me crazy. So now, in this funny stage when the rest of my body is normal sized, except my low tummy, which is now a whole handful of inches bigger, the waistband situation had to be addressed, and stat. All of my shirts still work, and I could still technically “wear” most of my pants, but BOY do dress pant waistbands feel like torture when you are sitting down at a desk all day! Needless to say, I did a little organizing and put everything into storage that I wasn’t comfortable in anymore (comfort=most important thing ever now)…which left me with all of my tops and dresses, about half of my skirts, and a couple pairs of pants! Haha! Needless to say, I will be needing some stretchy waistband pants pretty soon here, although I’m not sure I quite have the roundness to hold them up yet! Awkward phase. I think I would prefer to be in a mumu all day, if they had any cute ones…
Little boy is very active and getting very, VERY strong! Even Oliver is amazed at this little man…he can see my tummy jump and bounce from the outside already with every jab and kick! I swear, we were watching last night in total shock and amazement as we observed what appeared to be boxing training and a high intensity cardio workout from the outside. Hah! I am feeling really good! Still no nausea or headaches! Increasingly, though, I get to experience the discomfort that comes with an ever growing waist circumference! I feel like an old man, awkwardly adjusting my clothing to get comfortable with this new, little round tummy! Not used to that! I continue to have a handful of Braxton Hicks contractions every day, which are not painful, but definitely noticeable. There is obviously a uterus training schedule going on that I am unaware of….(ok! One more rep!!! Even tighter this time!)
I have been musing and reading about raising a little boy, all of which has been very insightful and helpful. I really have no idea what life is like for little boys, but I sure hope to enable all of that curiosity and energy and strength and channel it into lots of fun and beneficial activities! We’ve started the apartment hunt for August, and I am keeping my eye out for anything close to the park and the library. More or less, I am still feeling so much more settled now that we know it’s a boy! Like I can finally just relax for the next 18 weeks. Phew! Still no name pinned down, but I think we’re going to put that on hold for a couple months. O’s business is starting to get some great traction and I am delighting myself musing about what an awesome Dad and great example he will be to our little boy.
Week 20 – First mother’s day card from Oliver! :)))
Week 21 — Amazing what a difference the cut of a dress can make 😉 THE BUMP!!!
THIS WAS THE WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!! Waiting until the 11th was absolute torture!!! All I could do was hold my breath and count the hours until I knew if we were having a boy or a girl! The morning of I woke up with so many jittery nerves! We cruised out of my office at 10:30 AM and after far to long twiddling our thumbs in the waiting room, we walked straight toward our future and into the ultrasound room! Our tech actually seemed like she had been having a hard day…happy baby gender reveals are not the bulk of their jobs, I was sad to realize. But as the scan went on and Oliver and I kept bubbling up joy, the started to cheer up too 🙂 Of course we told her that we wanted to know, and off she went to work! Right away we saw our little baby, tucked wayyyy down in the left corner of my belly, with baby’s feet above his ears, curled up into a tiny ball. At some point between checking all of the measurements that they have to get, out tumbled, “oh, it’s definitely a boy!” quite casually! A BOY!!! “We’re having a boy!!!!” Oliver declared delightedly, pausing momentarily from taking secret pictures and videos from his hidden phone (which he was told explicitly not to do, haha!) Because of our little guy’s interesting position preference, it took her a loooooooooooong time…about an hour and a half! Oliver was watching the screen with pure awe and delight, seeing our little guy wiggle around and hide his face with his hands and kick his legs. At that moment, I think it finally became very, very real to him 🙂 I don’t know what I loved more, watching our baby, or watching Oliver’s face :))) After admitting defeat somewhat, they sent me away to drink orange juice and walk around for 20 minutes to see if the baby would move and we could try again. Needless to say, it was a long appointment, but we didn’t mind at all! A BOY!!!! WE ARE HAVING A SON!!!!! Since that moment, the idea has been slowly sinking in. I mostly feel SO RELIEVED and settled now that I actually know! I feel like I can finally breathe again! Well, baby looks nice and healthy, I’m feeling good, and we’re officially HALFWAY THERE!!!
Waiting room selfie!
Not much of a bump for halfway done, but we’re getting there!
Hiding is face with his little hands 🙂
Itsy bitsy feet and tiny toes!
“Oh, it’s for sure a boy! 100%!” She said. Hahaha
So in love with this tiny profile, button nose, and high cheekbones! Looks like just like Oliver’s boy! 😉
Tomorrow we get to see pictures of our sweet baby and find out if it’s a boy or a girl!!!! Finally my day dreaming about the future will have a full cast! It’s like Christmas over here…I can hardly wait!!! The most notable advancements this week were in the geometry of my stomach…haha. Still pushing on out (and as Oliver said, that isn’t going to stop anytime soon!) It has been a bit uncomfortable, as no matter how much I do or don’t eat….I feel so stuffed full! Agh! Still fitting into all of my normal clothes and expect to for the next month or so maybe…but I’m already looking forward to switching to easy, breezy, colorful summer dresses (with no waistband in sight! wahoo! Sounds like freedom!!) Oliver now talks to the baby on the regular and is very diligent on scolding Mozzi if he ever (/when he) jumps on my belly 😉 Yelp!
As far as names go, I’ve been trying to have the discussion with Oliver, for, say…TWO YEARS NOW. (Hey! I like to have a plan!). Needless to say, it has been a fruitless process, despite my very long list of ideas. Eventually we came to a settlement agreement…..he has 72 hours after we find out the baby’s gender to do any and all last (cough*first) research he feels necessary….and then will be expected to start fully participating in the discussion! haha! I suspect that *research may not actually happen….but once 50% of names are eliminated…we can finally get things rolling. We have one boy name and one girl name that we like already…but no middle names…and no backup names. I just keep thinking back to when we got Mozzi. (Oh, that fateful, blizzard-ing Saturday!) It was, to say the least, a last minute excursion, so we weren’t prepared at all. As we were driving home with that snuggly puppy on my lap I was suddently overcome by panic!!! A NAME!! It was like one enormous brain blank. I could not think of a single dog name that I liked, and neither could O! (How we eventually settled on Mozzi is another story). Anyway…I don’t want that to happen to our human child. Stakes are a little higher with this one 😉
To be honest, it occasionally occurs to me that A HUMAN IS GROWING INSIDE MY BODY, and that kind of freaks me out for a couple minutes. (I mean really, this whole process is pretty crazy if you think about it!) I think seeing a cute little profile and knowing if all of this internal bouncing is from a daughter or a son will ease the tiny freak outs away, as it will then be officially confirmed that I’m not growing an alien, or a watermelon. I sorted out maternity leave details at work this week which was a huge relief. With O’s birthday this month, graduation and the Palmer reunion in June, the Baxter reunion in July, a move to a new apartment (TBD on where) and some very exciting secret events yet to be divulged in August…the next couple months should fly by! Then I’ll just have a couple weeks, and, BAM! BABY!! I have a sneaking feeling that this baby might be born in September, not October. The little tot seems to consistently be a couple weeks ahead on milestones. (Although, am I really that surprised that any child of Oliver’s would be an overachiever, even in utero?)
Week 17 went quickly, before I knew it I was on to 18! (And doesn’t 18 sound so much farther along than 17?!) As I write this, exactly one week from today (I’ll be 19 weeks) we get to see our little baby and find out if the peanut is a boy or a girl! I’ve continued to feel LOTS of movement this week, and also a lot of tickles! It feels like this little tot is intentionally tickling me with all of it’s little toes and fingers at the same time! Sometimes I’m just sitting at my desk at work and can hardly keep myself from jumping and giggling when the tickling starts.
Oliver started talking to the baby this week, beginning a lifetime of conversation with, naturally: “Hello baby. My name is Oliver. I am your father.” …. “Just so you know, the other voices you hear very often like *****(my coworker) and the contestants on Project Runway are not your family, even though you hear them a lot more than you hear me.” “Also, I love you.” Haha! By the start of week 18, it was official! I was finally showing! Not in a nice round bump way…more like the space between my hipbones is no longer concave…whether laying down or standing up, there is a nice tight sphere in there that is getting bigger by the day! So cool. Physically I feel great! No complaints or headaches or anything there…just the feeling like there is a balloon full of air below my belly button that has smooshed all of my intestines up and up…..(oh, wait….there pretty much is! Ha!) So far since inception (or should I say conception) I have lost 10ish lbs, and then slowly in the last three weeks, gained back about 3-4lbs worth of baby (you know, child, placenta, blood, fluid, all that fun stuff). I went to a yoga class as part of a relief society activity one day and was able to keep up just fine, except for anything that involved me laying on my stomach on the hard gym floor. The balloon didn’t appreciate that kind of pressure. Yelp! Only a few more gender neutral projects left before I can dive head-first into a pile of tiny dress or tiny polo sewing plans! On the docket this week: a white blessing blanket and a dozen (or as many as I can crank out, really) newborn gowns. Off we go!
Ok, I officially feel pregnant now. Hah! Out of no where this week, things started expanding at a much faster rate! I can feel my ligaments stretching beyond their normal ranges. Feeling a bit thicker through the middle and the morning disappearing baby bump is getting bigger each day! Pretty soon it will stop disappearing for good and I will start showing for real! EXCELLENT NEWS….no more headaches!!! HOORAY!!!!!! That’s great, because I don’t know how much longer I could have kept taking Tylenol! I really prefer not to take anything at all in general, especially when I know whatever I take, the baby takes too. The little nugget now seems to be on a regular schedule, doing a series of wiggles and kicks and dances at 9AM, 11AM, 2:30PM(the most active of them all!) and 7-8PM. Pineapple is the baby’s FAVORITE….the little thing does cartwheels whenever I have some! (Which is very appropriate, as we always have Pineapples for birthdays and so he/she will have a LOT over the next 100 years!)
Oliver has felt the baby kick a couple times now and I can tell it just makes him SO happy! I was showing him my expanding tummy the other day (so weird, I am really not used to having any curves there!) and his face just started shining and he scooped me up into a big hug and told me I looked beautiful. 🙂 We have started to unintentionally call the baby “him” and “he”….soooo….can’t wait to find out in a couple weeks if that’s true! We had another appointment this week and heard the baby’s heartbeat, at a steady 150, just like last time. It’s a bit of an ordeal taking time off of work in the middle of the day for these appointments, but I always look forward to them. Although I must say, I expected pregnancy to be much more…medically involved? Supervised? Not so! They plop me on the scale, check vitals, listen to the heartbeat, ask if I’ve had any trouble, and out I go back into the world 15 minutes later! Amazing really that the body knows exactly what to do…very little outside supervision is required after all. Which of course makes sense…after all, women have been having children since the begining of time, and in much less comfortable situations!
Oliver has officially committed to starting a company and has turned down a handful of otherwise awesome job offers, so there is a chance that we may just end up in another 1 bedroom apartment after graduation this summer as opposed to a 2 bedroom where we would have a proper nursery (we wouldn’t dare take unnecessary salary from our own company!). While I was looking forward to decorating a future nursery in all kinds of glorious, cozy ways, I am also partially relieved, as I have always been more of a minimalist stuff-wise and not having to buy all that extra baby gear sounds fantastic too. We will see 🙂 Overall I just cannot wait for life with this little baby…walks outside, playtime, holidays with family (IS THERE ANYTHING CUTER THAN BABIES IN CHRISTMAS PAJAMAS?!), spending time with friends and their kids… Can’t believe I’m getting so close to 20 weeks…almost halfway done already?!
This week things REALLY started rolling! We made our public announcement early on Easter morning (Sunday) and were just flat out tickled all day reading everyones notes and comments! Seriously, I think more people are excited about this baby than they were about us getting married! Haha! Going to church that day was extra special…so many sweet gals and friends from church came over to chat and ask questions (is it just me, or do pregnant women LOVE IT when people ask them questions?! It just makes you feel like people care :)) and offer their congratulations. I love this ward so much, it will be a sad, sad day if we have to leave! Also, sitting in Relief Society that day felt different somehow, like I was only starting to understand/glimpse/be accepted into this whole deeper world of understanding that I had never noticed before. I felt so loved and supported, it was wonderful!
Believe it or not, on Friday while I was sitting in my car over lunch (my secret hideaway…I usually crochet or listen to books for a break!) about a minute or two after I had finished a hearty bowl of the most delicious pineapple I felt the weirdest thing! A POKE!!!! I FELT A POKE!! It was so distinctive and different than anything else I felt, I couldn’t belive it! 15 weeks is pretty early to feel any movement, so I wasn’t quite sure if I believed myself, but…I couldn’t deny it! It was a poke for sure! The first tink kick 🙂
On Monday I told everyone at work that I was expecting (huge relief!) and also was lucky enough to catch Grandma Donna and Grandpa Louie for lunch on their way through CA. Oliver came up and we had so much fun chatting in the warm California sunshine. She told me all of her baby and delivery stories, which of course were EXTRA interesting to me (genetics!). Her shortest labor was 45 minutes and the longest was 2 hours….so if I am anything like her, she said…don’t venture too far from the hospital! Haha! She also said that she wasn’t sick at all with any of her pregnancies (neither was Nana!) so it looks like I got some lucky genes on both side! Wahoo!! They were both so happy for us (and their new status as great grandparents!), it just made me feel so happy and warm and wonderful.
And then…..the baby started bouncing for REAL (and hasn’t stopped yet!). It’s so fun to feel the little nugget kick and wiggle and punch. Honestly, it feels like he/she is doing aerobics in there or something! This baby LOVES fruit and bounces all over the place after I eat some. (Sounds like a child of mine!) I try to tell Oliver when the baby is moving a lot in hopes that he can feel it from the outside, but it’s still early, so while he thinks he felt a tiny bonk or two, it might be a few more weeks….
Another super funny thing that started happening this week was….how shall I say….the magic disappearing morning baby bump! During the day my stomach is pretty much as flat as usual (maybe a half inch more than usual? Not enough for me to really notice) BUT(….this might be TMI but it was so fun I have to record it!) since I am a pretty heavy sleeper, I don’t wake up at all in the middle of the night, and consequently have a very full bladder in the mornings. Hah! Anyway, apparently your bladder is UNDER the baby, so when it gets super full, and you are laying down on your side all night, it pushes the baby WAY up and out! For the last two days I’ve woken up with a I KID YOU NOT grapefruit size and shaped bump right under my belly button! Okay okay fine! Maybe large apple sized, but still! I can feel the whole circle, and it actually sticks out, like a real live, solid baby bump! It was SO CRAZY TO FEEL!!! (Oliver was like, wow, this is feeling real now! hah!) And then, alas, after I run to the bathroom five minutes later, the baby re-submerges back into the depths of my body and disappears under my again-flat tummy. So weird. So cool.
My relentless headache seems to be keeping up for week two now, but Tylenol keeps that in check enough not to complain too much. Still feeling great! This is starting to get real now :)))
This week was a continuation of the fun! We slowly rolled out the announcements to grandparents, friends, family, and all bit by bit and delighted when the sweet phone calls and texts rolled in. Oh the joy of telling people!! The (Utah) Palmers were SO excited, Rose and Maddie (and Lora Lyn?) just screamed for two minutes straight! Then Rose immediately brought out the what to expect when you’re expecting book out in front of the camera and proclaimed that she’d got it for us in January! haha! What uncanny timing 😉 My brothers were sweet and happy, Jonny and Deb were very excited for us, all around it was a glorious week! I still feel great, with the exception of added headaches that came out of the blue! Ouch! But a little tylenol keeps that under control 🙂 This week I got back into the swing of making things and finished a tiny baby quilt (/playmat) and a deliciously soft faur fur baby ….. mat? Rug? Photo backdrop!? Haha. Oliver is excited to deepen his photography skills even more and use the newborn as an excuse to setup a proper light shop in our house to get the best baby photos. I can’t complain! Sounds like great fun to me! Officially now less than a month until we know if it’s a boy or girl! Apparently the baby is now over four inches long…or as big as an orange! No idea where this orange is hiding in my body, but I swear I felt a tiny poke from the inside the other day 🙂 We’re posting the announcement online next weekend (for Easter) and I’ll be telling work the following Monday, so the secret is 99% out!! Wahoo!!!
Still no bump!
Since this summer was going to be jam packed with family reunions well into my 7 month mark, we decided that if we were going to get away for a babymoon, it was going to be now! So, off to Hawaii we went! We stayed the first night in the Westin, which was hands down fabulous…MAN nice hotels make you feel like a nice person! Strangely enough, the whole trip really had me longing to go back to Taiwan! (Was it the snugly bliss?! Or the nice hotel?!) We lounged in their amazing pools, chilled on the beach, and slathered on the SPF 100 (no extra wrinkles for me, thank you very much!) This was also the only week I indulged in any sweets, and man were the shaved ice and coconut ice cream yummy! (But glad to be done with that again!) We made sure to get some good photos together and spent plenty of hours lounging, reading, and swimming. We also rented some gear and went out exploring other beaches and doing a little snorkeling (Oliver more so than me. Frankly, the underwater ocean freaks me out.) He saw brightly colored fish and sea turtles and had a grand time. I enjoyed the fruit and the cool water and warm breeze. We also make the drive down the “road to Hana” which is pretty famous, and saw some amazing overlooks, waterfalls, and black sand beaches along the way. What the tour guides don’t mention is how INSANELY stressful that drive is! Totally treacherous! Windy, mountainside roads, one lane, rocks on either side. The trip took all day long and was much scarier than I had planned on signing up for on a babymoon! hah! But we arrived back in one piece and managed not to smash our car into anything, so, all is well that ends well, right?! We picked up some Hawaiian carved coconut Christmas ornaments and had a fun time walking down the boardwalk and shops and exploring some of the ultra luxe resorts up north before catching the plane back home.
(more babymoon pictures: http://oliverandrebecca.com/2017/04/16/secret-maui-babymoon/ )
We arrived back home late Monday evening, sticky with suncreen and still had some residual sand stuck in our ears and scalps. Needless to say, it was SO GOOD TO BE HOME! Civilization! Showers! Our bed! Ahhhh. And coming home to such a cute snuggly Mozzi was such a treat! Man I missed the little guy. Anyway, we hopped in the shower and fell straight into bed, which is good, because….FIRST THING the next morning, after I had just stepped out of the shower (again) my mom texted me a photo of THE ANNOUNCEMENT BOX and was like…look! We got mail! (Only four days after we mailed it?! Since when does USPS OVERdeliver?!) Anyway, of course I freaked out, thinking that she would open the announcement any second and I didn’t even have my makeup on! Then Oliver heard, and HE freaked out, because we hadn’t even mailed the rest of the family boxes yet! So we threw on some clothes and flew to the post office, got the boxes in the mail, and giddily waited for the text signaling that my mom had opened the card with the announcement photos. And we waited. And waited….and she said that my dad had finally got home, and thanks for the chocolate and Easter treats! And…..we were like wait, did they totally miss the card? They totally missed the card! So then we tried to gently cajole them into opening everything in the box (they are just too disciplined! They said they were going to open the eggs and treats bit by bit over the next two weeks so they could save them for Easter!) Finally we got them to bring the box upstairs and open ALL of the things inside. It was so funny trying to get them to open that card! Oliver and I were dying! (Meanwhile, my Mom was like “why does Oliver look so happy about chocolate!?”) We talked all about Hawaii and Easter and candy and had a very nice chat…all the while squealing inside! Finally my mom opened the card (which she thought is an Easter card) and saw the first shot of us in the flowers, and was like, oh cute! (I guess the hand on my tummy wasn’t as obvious as I thought it was!) and then flipped to the next picture, of us with the tiny shirt, and started to get very excited…”Rebecca?! Rebecca?! Why is there a tiny Stanford shirt in this photo?! Why is there a tiny shirt?!” and I’m like…look at the next one! So they pulled out the egg photo that says “Baby Palmer 10/05/17″ and we could hear them all getting so giddy and happy! And my mom continued …”are you having a baby?!?!” to which we responded “we’re having a baby!!!!” and it was just a big happy call after that 🙂 Talking about pregnancy, and babies, and grand-babies, and blessing outfits, and Christmas plans, and all! It was SO FUN TO FINALLY TELL THEM! And to be able to talk about it to someone other than Oliver! EEEE!!!!!!!! I’ve pretty much had nothing to talk to my mom about over the last few months (because I have been keeping this huge secret!) and I am SO HAPPY that now they know!!! The rest of the boxes should arrive in two days, so we should get to repeat all the fun with the Palmers and my brothers again this weekend! And then the rest of the world a week after that! Looks like it’s all downhill from here 🙂 🙂 🙂 What a blessing that we ended up coming home a day early! Everything about the baby and pregnancy continues to be one stroke of perfect timing after another 🙂
I got Oliver this funny little “dad pregnancy app” a couple weeks ago, and I can tell he’s been looking at it when spouts off little facts during the week 🙂 That makes me smile 🙂 I can’t even believe the first trimester is done! I feel like I am cheating or something! (Or hallucinating this whole thing?! Is this real?!) I’m already a third of the way done?! I feel like I haven’t even started! I got away with feeling totally great, 99.9% normal, and having pretty much no symptoms at all. I was absolutely expecting the opposite, because my stomach has always been more on the queasily-inclined side to begin with…but alas! Things have changed, I guess! It’s really hard for me to believe there is a 2.5-3 inch baby somewhere in there! I mean, where? My stomach is still totally normal looking. Where is it?! This is actually a tiny bit concerning to me, but, as noted earlier, I’m trying to completely quit all forms of worry.
I (bad, bad choice) ate some sugary stuff twice in a row this week (first time since the new year!) and I am NEVER DOING THAT AGAIN (at least until October!) Man, I felt so, so, so awful for like three days!!! Super, as Oliver would say, hormotional, uncomfortable in my own skin, impatient, low motivation, couldn’t sleep well, grumpy…yikes. So, so not worth it. Eating real food just feels so much better, it’s not even a debate.
Anyway, bodies are amazing. I started doing this funny (okay, maybe just plain weird) thing in the first couple weeks that has seemed to work really well for me: I……have conversations with my body. hah! When I was feeling those sharper cramps early on (and anticipating my discomfort would only increase!) instead of just reacting with a wince or “pain”…instead, I would be like “Hey body! Feels like we have some serious work going on in there! What are we building today?!” and then I would lookup what kinds of things were happening that week (growing a brain, for example!) and continue the discussion with a serious slew of understanding and compliments. Because, hey, I sure don’t know how to grow a human! My body is totally in charge here, and I trust it. Acknowledging the changes and discomforts (even if they weren’t terrible) has helped a lot, just by shifting my perspective. “Pain” in pregnancy isn’t the same kind of pain. It’s not your body saying “HELP! SOMETHING IS WRONG!” but more like “WHEW! We’re getting a lot of work done here! This is hard!” (unless something is actually, actually wrong, obviously). Hopefully I can keep this conversation up and keep a more calm, responsive (instead of reactive) approach when things, inevitably, get more uncomfortable or hurt more later down the line. We got this, body! You rock!
Surprisingly to me, and probably to all of you, I have been in total sewing-excitement-paralysis. I know there are a whole slew of gender neutral things I could make, but I just CAN’T START until I know if these little nugget is a boy or a girl! But we should find out by the end of next month, right? So until then, I am sitting on my hands and squirming. A lot. I’m also wondering how Mozzi is going to react to this whole “you are no longer the most snuggly thing in the house” change. He’s pretty much my baby now–follows me everywhere, begs for food, constantly wants to play, and doesn’t like to be anywhere more than smack on top of me, in any position (sitting, lying down, taking a shower)…hahah. I know eventually the two will be best pals (he is SUCH a sweet snuggly little dog and would like nothing more than a kid to play with all day!) but those first couple weeks will probably be a shock! But then again, those first few weeks will be shocks all around for everyone, I’m sure. Anyway, we can’t wait for you, baby!!
We went to our next appointment and heard the baby’s heartbeat again! No ultrasound this time (not another one until 20 weeks to find out the gender! I can’t even wait until May!) but the little thumpty-thump was reassuring 🙂 And apparently I am in totally perfect health, except for being anemic, which is normal for me, and apparently being Rh-, which I guess means you get two extra shots THAT Rh+ people done. But, all is well, so that’s fine by me! After the appointment we went by the post office to get the announcement box in the mail and on my way to my parents in Switzerland, thinking it would take the full 10 business days….
The surprise goodie boxes sent to the Bradshaws and Palmers!
Honestly, the past few weeks were so jammed packed we hardly came up for air. I still feel great, and suspiciously normal (uh, are you still in there baby? Aren’t I supposed to be sick or gaining weight or something?) but I shouldn’t complain about that. Still relying on the motto, everything is fine unless it isn’t! So, I’m trying not to needlessly worry. With the jam packed schedule I have been particularly bugged about working full time as of late….I am SO tired by the end of the day, it’s frustrating to think of all the things I would love to be doing (for this baby and otherwise) that I just have ZERO enthusiasm left for at the end of a day. Man, how much I would love to be able to have time in the middle of the day! But, alas, this baby will be born on my own insurance, so, gotta keep getting to the office. Hm. Let’s just say I look forward to many years ahead of park days and soccer games. Oliver is feeling the seriousness of responsibility kick in a bit. He frequently tells me that it doesn’t seem real yet, because I don’t look or act pregnant (according to American stereotypes, at least) but the responsibility to provide is in full swing! He graduates in a few months and is materializing as many great job options as possible. FUN NEWS…we are taking a little babymoon to Hawaii next week! (It will be about two weeks before anyone knows, but it was the most convenient time to go!) We plan on announcing around Easter, when I will be about 15 weeks along. This week we finished taking the announcement pics and prepped the surprise Easter packages for family! We had great fun filling the goodie boxes with candy and treats and thinking about how fun it will be when we can actually talk to people about this! Wahoo! Can’t wait!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂 Our next appointment is a week from today! Looking forward to that confirmation that everything is still A OK. 🙂
Photo shoot number one….hmmm….very blurry!! Not sure if we’ll keep it.
Just a few more days till I am “back to making progress” – or so it feels, since I had to rewind for two weeks! I almost spilled the beans on accident to Christopher when talking to him about summer housing plans in Palo Alto…I mentioned that if we stayed, we might have an extra bedroom for him to stay in, and he was like, WAIT WHAT?!! And then he called Michael, and then Michael called me and was like “ARE YOU HAVING A BABY?!” And I flat out lied. Lied! Can you believe it? Is the first twelve weeks of pregnancy the only time it is socially acceptable to flat out lie? Hope so, haha! Sorry Kipper, you were spot on! Anyway, pregnancy has been great for my body…I feel amazing!! I hit a wall of tiredness around 2pm everyday which lasts for a few hours, but if that’s the only physical discomfort I suffer during the first trimester, I can’t complain! I seem to be losing a couple pounds instead of gaining, also not bad luck. Oliver and I took announcement pictures this week! We gathered up an armfull of tulips and dyed Easter eggs to spell out “Baby Palmer 10 05 2017” and took some really cute shots in the grass. Unfortunately the light was NOT cooperating when we were taking the couples shot and we almost didn’t get a single picture! We snuck away with one which is far too “normal” for my taste (is it just me or do we almost always pose like that?) but one is better than none, and we are on such a time crunch with everything else going on in the next month, it was that day or never! Can hardly wait until my next appointment in a month! Eeek! Grow baby grow!
The first of the “bump” photos… (or lack thereof, for now!) hopefully this black dress can really stretch!
Wow, the time flies! Since I was two weeks behind where I thought I was, I honestly didn’t think or read much about baby this week! I felt 100% normal and great! I attribute this to 1. Having to go to work anyway, so did I really have a choice? hah. and 2. No sugar or refined carbs. That seems to really make a huge difference. I still get a little tired in the middle of the day, but have managed to get by so far without any other issues at all. I attended two of my friends baby showers this week (one I threw!) and had SO much fun. I’m still the odd man out right now because I don’t have babies of my own, but little do they know….not for long! Teehee! But it’s so fun to soak in all their stories and spend time with these girls! I love this ward!! The really funny thing is one friend here was talking about her symptoms and all, and mentioned that she is due…wait for it!!! Three days before me! haha! I guess I will totally have a pregnancy buddy when we finally spill the beans! I also made a couple baby blankets and got to babysit for a cute family in the ward with four kids that I totally love. We also were thrilled to find out that Christopher is coming out here for summer!!! Wahoo!!! Having a brother in town will be so nice 🙂 I’ve been rethinking my sewing list for baby and deciding if I can even start before I know if it’s a boy or a girl! Other than that, O and I have been totally swamped with to dos and activities and service and commitments. Phew! Just keeping up here 🙂
What a special, special week! Monday, February 13th was our very first doctor’s appointment! And naturally, it was scheduled right in the middle of the workday, so, Hey! I thought. I’ll take a half day off and we can make it a celebration! I had been SO excited for the first appointment for so long! I didn’t expect to wake up that morning feeling so nervous. Like…really nervous. I just wanted everything to be A OK with the little peanut. (Finally, real confirmation of this thing happening inside of me from the world outside Oliver, myself, and a dozen pregnancy tests! Is it real yet?) At noon I cruised out of the office, grabbed some chocolates and a cheesy card, and picked up Oliver on campus with a big smile, big hug, big box of chocolates, and a “HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!” Of course we decided we would celebrate early! The day was also extra special, because February 13th is my parent’s engagement anniversary, one day every year that was marked in our house by a big celebration and a delicious Swiss dinner. I was sorely tempted to leak the news early on that day!! (MAN ALL I WANT TO DO IS TELL MY MOM!!!) So excited! Anyway, our first appointment was a mix of forms and jittery excitement and tests. My doctor (who is brand new to me!) is so kind and so sweet…hooray! During the ultrasound we determined that baby was only 6 weeks 5 days old, not 8 weeks 5 days like we thought! But all was well on track. I can think of no better Valentine’s Day present than hearing your baby’s heartbeat for the first time. Oliver and I stared at the ultrasound display in completely absorbed, joyous, silent, amazement, watching the thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump, over and over again.
What an incredibly special day.
Official (recalculated) due date: October 5th!
That first appointment was so, so, so wonderful. Now it all feels so much more real and legitimized! And good. I am so wonderfully happy and feel so complete. Strangely enough, for all of the reading and research I did over the last year, I don’t feel the need to do anymore. I have this funny, calm assurance now, as if being a mother is the most natural thing in the world I could do, and I have total confidence in my ability to do so. I have no idea where this came from, but it is a welcome feeling. It just seems…right.
The rest of the day we spent indulging in celebration: we perused toy stores, went out for a steak dinner (MAN that iron was needed!), and went to a movie all before heading back to Stanford. The rain had stopped and the weather was sunny and that perfect mix of warm and crisp. It was a glorious day.
Another big miracle and tender mercy happened this week. As most of you know, I’ve spent the last two and a half years working full times towards getting my CFP®. (I passed the exam last November!) But In order for the credentials to kick in, you need three years’ worth of work experience, and have a limited of time after you take the test to get it all done, otherwise you have to take the test all over again in the future! I obviously really, really want to make sure I hit the mark and get my CFP® squared away before I go on leave so all of that hard work doesn’t go to waste. ANYWAY, I rushed back to my records and calculated exactly when my three year mark would be, and……I will officially be done THE WEEK BEFORE I am due. What a miracle! This baby (ok, God) has the most incredibly perfect timing!!! I laughed and cried in amazement when I realized the divine timing of all of this. Things are working out just the way they need to, after all.
And more great news!! I FEEL AMAZING! No wooziness at all, hardly any cramps, energy is back up a bit, and my tummy feels totally normal and flat again. Perhaps it is also nature’s reward that I’ve dropped a pants size in the last couple weeks….and that weight has re-appropriated up top. Not a bad deal 😉 So far, pregnancy is very flattering!
The tiny bean! 6 weeks old 🙂
First doctor’s appointment selfie. It’s real now!
This week was a bit of a blur, as much more pressing and exciting and stressful things were happening in our lives (particularly Oliver’s) than the little blueberry growing inside of me (although, growing a human is pretty exciting!). While I was very aware of my new status as “carrier-of-something-else”, Oliver seemed to forget, then delightedly remember, then forget, then remember all over again, which is kind of fun, as he periodically came up and hugged me, all excited, exclaiming “we’re having a baby!!!” as if it was all brand new all over again. I can’t believe it’s already been two weeks!
We filed our taxes this week, which gave us a clearer picture of post Stanford Business School finances, and consequently, had me thinking about future investments. O and I have our own portfolio and venture strategy, of course, and plan on saving for baby’s college education, of course, but this got me started back on one of my favorite trains of thought….teaching baby all about personal finance and investing! I will leave it at that, but, oh mama! I have a whole plan, and it will be so fun. I also started an “account” that will be the start of baby’s very OWN investment account, which we are funding with loose change from our weekly shopping trips (since we’ve been on the cash system for shopping, this has been easy) I can already see the strategic lemonade stands and lessons on interest, debt, and profit!
I’m also a huge minimalist when it comes to stuff, and have been thinking about all the things we DON’T need for baby (along with what we do, obviously) and am delighted how small the list of “stuff you actually need” is. One thing for sure: no open shelves and decorative bookcases at our house! Those are just asking to be torn apart on the daily by little hands! And, yes, you got me– definitely thinking though ways I can make it as easy as possible to keep the house as clean as possible, despite the new addition and big changes. Mess makes me frantic. And, let it be known! I have friends who have multiple babies AND clean homes, so don’t say it can’t be done! I just finished a little baby sleeper and am working on a baby quilt and a white crochet throw blanket. Having projects to work on during down time is relaxing.
I’m feeling great! Definitely sleepier a good two hours earlier than usual, but I don’t mind that at all! I seem to have completely lost my appetite during the day (not nauseous, just not hungry) and have lost about 5lbs since I found out, which, apparently, is normal, as are the occasional cramps. Having endless things to prepare and make keeps the days happy and busy. We have our first ultrasound a week from today! Can’t wait to get our first peek at the little nugget! I really thought it was a boy for a while, and then a girl, and now….I have no idea. We’ll see!
This week, after dozens more tests indicating that the baby was growing, it started to finally sink in a bit! I realized I couldn’t finish that yummy raw milk in the fridge, any of my favorite (all non pasteurized) cheeses, or add lunch meat to my salads anymore! hah! I felt on and off cramping on my right side for most of the week, all within the realm on normal and pretty much nothing compared to past cramps. Hooray! Perhaps it’s the hormones, or the gratitude, or the excitement, but I have been in a pretty fantastic mood all week!
I have felt a bit sleepy this week, but that could be because we’ve started getting up much earlier. I stopped eating sugar at the beginning of the year, which I give credit for having no cravings and no nausea at all, and my body feeling so good! The biggest lesson this week, though, was about the reality of the phrase “when you are expecting, you have no immune system.” I came down with the nastiest sore throat out of nowhere that has been hanging on for days (strange it hasn’t turned into a cold yet!) It is unusual for me to get sick to easily! It hurts to swallow and I’m forced to learn how to get by without any cold medicine. A little painful, but it also makes me feel super tough. No way am I drugging this baby! I have also stopped eating anything that isn’t, how do I say? Intentionally nutritious? So no junk or empty calories, just LOTS of fresh food and vitamins! So far, it’s working–I feel better than I ever have!
Oliver has been extra sweet and attentive, keeping me warm and smothering me with snuggles all night. I have to say, I love it all. I feel so whole.
Yep! That’s a line!!
Early Sunday morning, I had a nonsensical feeling that I should get up and take a test, expecting absolutely nothing from it. I wandered sleepy eyed into the living room and let Mozzi out of his bed to stretch across the carpet and douse me in my usual morning kisses. When I went back to check the test…I couldn’t even believe it. There was a line. A line! I honestly thought I would never see one. hah! It was only moderately there, though, not a big bold one, but a line nonetheless. I debated for a minute if I should wait a couple days and surprise Oliver with some fantastic announcement. I couldn’t. Then I debated about whether or not I should shower and change out of my pajamas before I told him. Couldn’t. So I settled on brushing my teeth, letting my hair out of a messy (messy messy, not cute messy) bedtime bun, and spraying myself with perfume to make up for not showering before I flug the bedroom door open, blasted all the lights on, and jumped right on top of him. In true Oliver fashion, he covered his head in the blankets, and I threw them back off again. “Open your eyes!” I said! He responded by crinkling his nose and shutting his eyes even harder. On the third “open your eyes!” demand, I held the little test strip in front of his face, which instantly went from sleepy and grumpy to very wide eyed, indeed. It was a happy Sunday, for sure. We Googled our results and checked another two times, just to be safe. It was delighting and a bit surreal. All this time…nothing…and then, BAM! It’s there! The line! In the tiny back corner of my brain, I was still scared to be excited for fear that something would go wrong, and my hopes would be crushed again. But by the next morning and 5 tests later, I had thrown all caution to the wind. I was thrilled. Singing when I did the dishes, dancing around the house, hugging all living things in sight. Worrying something is suffering it twice, right?
I love firsts. They are so special. I determined to do everything possible to fully enjoy this experience for the first time. Luckily I had spent the last year and a half reading literally every book and article about babies and parenting (eh, you know how I am when I get into something), so I was able to execute very efficiently on my plans. I had my registry done and everything needed (actually needed, not superfluous baby stuff) picked out and saved in 30 minutes. I had a list of clothing and baby projects ready and waiting. I had a plan already detailed about how to teach our baby more about finance by age 8 than most adults know by age 40. I couldn’t believe it! Why now?! Who knows, but I can say for sure that this little tot has really, really good timing. (For some reason I feel like it’s a He, so forgive me future child if you turn out to be a girl!) He will be born in late September and be the oldest in his class! Out first ultrasound appointment was scheduled on Valentine’s Day eve, and “announcement” time will be right on top of Easter! We couldn’t have planned it better ourselves 😉 I feel like our life as a family is just starting for real now. We are so, so, deeply happy. I spied Oliver reading articles and talks on fatherhood a couple times over the week, which warmed my heart. Good things in store 🙂 Oh, and, I’m sure you’ll ask! I feel great! Totally normal, with the exception of having almost no appetite. Not because of nausea or anything…I’m just way too busy planning things to remember food!